10 More Ways to Chop an Onion – You Suck at Cooking (episode 44)

Previously, on [intro music cut off] [chopping, banging, yelping] [end of intro music] The first method is the fork method Slice your onion in half, jam your fork inside, then slice across, then down, then down the other way

[crunching] Mmm The next method involves hitting your onion firmly with your knife around the outside to loosen up the insides Then slice it open It's not perfect, but it'll get you most of the way there If you have a balsa wood cutting board, it's not very dense

So you can place your onion underneath it Then PUSH until it comes through, and don't forget to clean up the onion skin after If you have any professional wrestling experience, you can drop a flying elbow from the top rope This method is called the Edward Scissorhands, or the Edward Knifefingers [frenzied scissor noises and chopping] It's just like playing a piano, except it sounds better than when you play piano

You could also do the Wolverine [slicing] Another way to chop your onion is to make Pimblokto angry at you Pimblokto: [robotic Voice] Hello Hey, Pimblokto Where did you get those pants? At Radio Shack? Pimblokto: [angry robot growling] [laser firing] [explosion] Good job, Pimblokto

You can hack the onion apart; you just need a computer, a standard RCA cable Bypass the mainframe and Computer: [robotic voice] Access granted [whispering] You can sneak up behind it and scare it

[yells at onion] It's okay, it's just me And finally, you can take a coffee grinder, place your onion on the cutting board, and give it a nice, firm strike [disappointed groan] Too hard again [rhythmic beat] [shouting words on screen as they appear] [beat ends]

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