3 Creamy Popsicles – You Suck at Cooking (episode 90)

[robotic hand noises] If you like popsicles and you like things that come in the shape of a popsiclethen you'll *definitely* like popsicles

♪♫You suck at cooking♪♫ ♫♪Yeah, you totally suck♫♪ The first popsicle we're gonna make is the pineapplecocohoneynutsicle We're gonna take a coconut and we'll just [coconut rolling noises] [THUD]

grab that can of coconut milk aaand get that into the blender You might be wondering why there's a separation between the thick coconut cream and the coconut water

That's just because when the coconut's growingall of the less dense coconut water rises to the topwhile all of the dense coconut growth-hormone falls to the bottom Then we'll take a pineappleand we'll roll that out of the way so we can grab our can of pineapple chunks

Aaand get all those chunks in there Then we'll add around 3 tablespoons of honeyand a pinch of saltand a handful of shredded coconut

Blend that until it's smooththen pour that into a measuring cup, so you can carefully pour that into your popsicle filling funnel And then fill up as many as you can Now we'll make jamberry blubesicles Which are great both as a percussive instrument as well as an edible drumstick

We'll take another can of coconut milkadd in a cup of blueberries and then we're gonna sweeten it Can you guess how? Audience: Sugar! YSAC: No Good guess, though Audience: Molasses! YSAC: No, that would taste really gross

Any– Audience: A sweeter popsicle! YSAC: *chuckles* No I'll give you a hint It rhymes with "fuzberry ham" Audience: Justfairy clam? YSAC: *chuckles again* No It's raspberry jam, you dumbf**ks

So we'll just carefully scrape off three tablespoons of jamadd in a pinch of saltand squeeze a lemon [DANGEROUS WHIRRING] Whoops! Blenders typically work better with the blade inside them Blend it all up and fill your mold

Our third popsicle is the chocomaplefudgsiclecocopopsiclepop We're gonna take another can of coconut milk We'll add in six tablespoons of cocoa powder Four tablespoons of maple syrup A teaspoon of vanilla extract

which *reeeally* helps bring the flavor home And a pinch of salt Which also really brings the flavor home as it does with any food that contains flavor [slightly less dangerous whirring] But if you don't have a blenderyou can shake this one in a mason jar with a tiny whisk

This will be easy for you if you own a shake weight like I docause you'll have that motion down pat You can also attach the mason jar to your shake weightand then just get your workout in while you're making your popsicle You want to keep that going until you've burnt the same amount of calories

that are in the popsicle so that your popsicle is calorie neutral Let's try a different angle *heeeere*! Only you can decide when you're done shaking the shake weight ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) That's a personal decision Okay, I think we're pretty good there I *wouldn't* recommend using the 25 pounder for this

I mean I can But I *didn't* come here to *talk about* training

And I *came here* to make popsicles No funnel The adrenaline from the workout makes me take more risks Now we'll just pop those in the freezer for a few hours Now if making a popsicle with a classic stick and mold

makes you feel like a sheep, don't worry There's lots of alternatives We've got the grip circle This is for clumsy people who need a better grip

Or if you need a popsicle in a windstorm We've got the handsicle, because holding a hand is the most natural thing in the world Also for people who need to work on their intimacy issues We've got the christsicle Also the crisiscle

This is the stickchopsticle If you want to have dessert and food at the same time The toothbrushsticle Keep that sugar off your teeth! This is the community popsicle This is great if you go to a music festival by yourself

and you want to quickly make five friends We have the off-the-chain-siclewhich is great, if you're in a motorcycle gang You can make the tough guy popsicle Which is great if you're a tough guy

and don't want to be caught dead holding a dainty popsicle stick It's also useful for fighting off a dude who tries to make fun of you for eating a popsicle [MANLY THUD] Now it's finally time to take a bite of your popsicle Mmmmmm I mean in the end you can't argue with popsicles I mean, they don't have a mouth, they don't know how to talkthey don't know how to think You'd end up just looking like a fool

standing thereyelling at a tasty treat that you could be eating insteadwhile it melts all over your hand, you know ♪♫Oooh popsicle♪♫ ♪♫You can't stopsicle♪♫ ♪♫Eatin' up and licking all the drips and all the dropsicles♪♫ ♪♫Get into the pool and do a belly flopsicle♪♫ ♪♫Because you know♪♫ ♪♫It's always time to stop dropping popsicles♪♫ ♪♫Getting topsicle♪♫ ♪♫How much you wantsicle?♪♫ ♪♫Looks like I forgotsicle when I was at your shopsicle♪♫ ♪♫No matter the weather it always tastes so much better♪♫ ♪♫When I'm just whipping up a batch of tasty motherfloppin' popsicles♪♫ ♪♫I can eat popsicles sitting by the brook♪♫ ♪♫I can eat popsicles when I'm reading a book♪♫ Oh, yeah, I wrote a book It's out October 15th

But you can pre-order it now wherever books are sold Or you can just check out the link below if you want ♪♫Oh my god I've wrote a flippin' book♪♫ ♪♫Oh my god, I hope you wanna take a look♪♫ [rockin' riffs fade out] [kitties leave slowly] [only the book remains] [only the pain remains]

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