41 Quick Food Tricks – You Suck at Cooking

So what you want to do is just line up your hand and give it a good DOW! We'll smash up *smash* some broccoli and throw a handful of that in there We're gonna grab this, we're gonna start breaking it down into its basic components *smash* *rolling* Now this is an okay size, but we're probably gonna want to go one level deeper *wack* *rolling* *wack* JustNot the texture you want in a salad You can also just take a big-ass carrot and smash *smash* it against the wall *Mumbling*

forearm- There we go! Gonna take a handful of peanuts and then just crush *cru-those-shing* into peanut butter You want to grab some broccoli

Give that a good *whack* Just take one large string bean and then just give it a firm *Whack* *Crunch* And place your onion underneath it then pu-sh until it comes through Or if you're quick enough, you can do the Falcon Shuck *thump* RAH! Its okay! It's just me! You can drop *thump* a flying elbow from the top rope And give that a good roll *thump* Then you want to take an extra large size radish and also give that a nice shove

*thump* Fun fact about radishes: This is where red skittles come from *thump* *scattering* Arrange your tomatoes in a sound wave formation then give the old counter a pounder *THUMP* Whoop! *thump* *leaf crunching* Awwwww! We're gonna take some Parmesan cheese Get that grated into *thump* smithereens

I'm gonna *crack* open a couple of ~Mayo pods~ Usually two is *crack* enough to get a half cup Now you're gonna need a leek *beeping* Okay, I got the potameter fired up and we're just gonna find ourselves a nice, juicy

Got 'em! If you only have these super baby carrots, you can compress them with your hands *cracking* -until you get one biblically correct sized carrot Some people don't want to aqua bake because they're worried their potatoes will get wet, -which is silly because potatoes are waterproof *thump* *thump* *thump* See? We'll take the first one and just

*crack* that open And 1 cup of chopped walnuts that's had the daylights scared out of it RAH! Your block of mozzarella aaand*soft thump* Just drop that on there We're gonna make some fresh pressure distilled rum If you can't get the fresh stuff, go ahead and buy a bottle of the stuff -from the store or from your local pirate Throw that on auto-chop

*intense chopping* This doesn't work well if your knife isn't haunted Now, we're gonna take a melon NO! *thump* *scattering* Now we're just gonna make the fruit salad dressing NO! *thump* *scattering* *pop* So grab an avocado and undo the bolt at the top that holds the peel together Ripple CHOP! *chopping inception* You can also roll a lemon on the counter firmly until you explode all the inside- Whoops! So roll it slightly less hard than that and then prick it with your meat thermometer and squirt it out -like you're milking a cow An individual asparagus is known as an asparagus spear The reason for that is- HURGH! *chop* *falling* Because if you take a jalapeno and flip it inside out, it'll- *POP*

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