Baked Asparagus – You Suck at Cooking (episode 105)

Asparagus Also known as nature's dagger

HHHGH! Is the world's most dangerous vegetable, not including the potato shark *deep growl* ♫ You suck at cooking Yeah, you totally suck ♫ We'll start by taking the asparageese and washing off the asparticles because asparticles aren't good for you And then we'll just dry those off like a freshly bathen baby

Then you can snap off the ends at a bottom knuckle, or just grab your chef's knife, line them all up and then chop them RRRGH! You never want to let your chef's knife think it's the boss of the kitchen So we're gonna lay these out on a parchment-papered pan, then drizzle on some olive o- UUURGH! Gotta keep olive oil on its toes, it's had a free ride long enough Then we'll sprinkle on two tablespoons of sliced almonds You can slice these yourself, if you want to be a martyr Or a fun thing to do is try to put them back together like an almond puzzle

Just grab some wood glue here aaand perfect You'd never know this had been sliced up already Now we'll sprinkle on one teaspoon of smoked paprika, which you can buy smoked, or just buy the regular paprika and then hotbox it Now I'm gonna make the asparagus steamroll each other like they're at an oiled up slumber party while on a spice and almond cleanse See The Goop Lab episode 4

Then we'll just spread these out to give them a little space, then into the undo, preheated to 4 hundo degundo for around 15 mundo until the almundo start to brundo :> An individual asparagus is known as an asparagus spear The reason for that is HHHGH! Oh yeah, I still got it >:D Most people know that after eating asparagus, your pee will smell like asparagus, but most people don't know that if you stir your coffee with asparagus, your coffee will smell like peeif you also pee in your coffee

By the way, this recipe is on page 140 of my book HHHGH! Which you really shouldn't stab, it makes it way harder to read Now we'll take the asparagus out of the (un-i-on?) and those are looking pretty good Now we'll transfer them to a fancy platter or a plancy flatter if you prefer And then you want to collect these almond slice stragglers and bedazzle your asparagus to make it look cool

And if you get unwanted splatter you can wipe it off with a paper towel, or use a very tiny vacuum It's said that in high-end dining asparagus is the only food you can eat with your fingers But when you're aware of just how dangerous this vegetable is, you're much smarter to use pliers Mmm, that's a damn good asparagus And now together, let's recite the asparagus oath

𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖘 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 𝕴 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖜𝖎𝖊𝖑𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖞, 𝖙𝖔 𝖚𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖜𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖕𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑 𝕴𝖋 𝕴 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖌𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙, 𝕴 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖆𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝖉𝖔 𝖒𝖞 𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞 𝖇𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖓𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝖒𝖞 𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞, 𝖙𝖔 𝖜𝖎𝖊𝖑𝖉 𝖎𝖙 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖉𝖑𝖞, 𝖙𝖔 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖇 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖎𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖞, 𝖘𝖔 𝖘𝖆𝖞 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝕬-𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖚𝖘 Sub to YSAC 🙂

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