Blueberry Smoothie – You Suck at Cooking (episode 23)

♫ INTRO MUSIC ♫ Hey guys, a bit of a sad episode today— I found out recently that my sister, um, wants her Vitamix back And that's fine, it's just a blender, but, you know, you grow up with someone; you think you know them; and then you find out how truly selfish they are

And that, that does sting—so kind of just dealing with that right now But you just got to remember that if someone needs to collect appliances to fill a void in their life—that you just have to be happy that, uh That you know wholeness comes from a different place

Anyway, I don't want to harp on that What I do want to do is, um, just take a quick look back on all the amazing things I’ve been able to make and do with this truly, truly versatile machine ♫ [GUITAR MUSIC] ♫ It's a top-notch wangjangler Can skin a banana in no time flat The Vitamix honestly cooks eggs like nobody’s business

It's really great at opening peanuts Gets wrinkles out of any shirt Keeps your floors looking brand-spankin' new It’s a total grime-buster It's a master of disguise Teaches you everything about how to raise a baby

Does basic washing machine maintenance ♫ [DISCORDANT PIANO SOUNDS] ♫ It’s like a Picasso on the piano ♫ [GUITAR MUSIC RESUMES] ♫ It knows its limit, and it stays within it [whispering] It watches for burglars Really easy to tune up your bike

Gets along really good with corks It's terrified of pillows Keeps your yard super clean Easy to groom your dog it's an absolute wizard at dividing up your, uh

baking soda? Alright Vitamix, lets end this on a good note by making my favorite smoothie Almond milk, blueberries, banana, Greek yogurt, peanut butter Put it up on the base; get that lid on; and take your vitamix and press start

We'll just taste test that Needs a few more blueberries Let's give that a taste [slurping sound] Mmm That will do it And the great thing about the vitamix is that, if you make a lot like this, It's really just a big cup so you can drink right out of that, which I'm going to do right now— before I go lift [long slurping sound] Mmm! ♫ [SAD PIANO MUSIC] ♫ Well Vitamix, we've been through a lot together and, uh, You've never disappointed me once and I look forward to visiting you sometimes— I really hope that you'll remember me Hopefully, we'll still be able to have some good times You're a real goddamn champion

Thank you ♫ [GUITAR MUSIC] ♫ ♫ Gonna miss you Vitamix, ♫ ♫ and all your versatile tricks ♫ ♫ You really caught my nervous ticks ♫ ♫ and in my shins you never kicked ♫ ♫ Built strong like a ton of bricks ♫ ♫ Gentle touch of a candle wick

♫ ♫ You spin hard like a lunatic ♫ ♫ with just one click! ♫ ♫ You're a blender— ♫ ♫ [LOUD EXHALE]

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