Breakfast Burrito – You Suck at Cooking (episode 47)

Previously on You Suck At Cooking Hey Douglass John *crack* It wasn't a homicide

They murdered 2 innocent eggs and made an escape *bork bork* I believe you've been looking for me I didn't catch your name? John Oh my god I've been making you this A trampoline? To celebrate us being home free for life I will hunt you downuntil you're dead Hang on, Dennis

I'm comin' You Suck at Cooking, Yeah you Totally Suck For the breakfast burrito, you're gonna need a tortilla, tomato, avocado, black beans, cheese onion, onion salsa sour cream and eggs whoop! hehe woah! whoaa! t h i s i s s o c o o l Gonna take your green onion, and ripple chop

We're chopping green onion for the eggs and purple onion for the black beans and we're chopping tomato for fun And let's open the avocado and put it on standby Throw in some olive oil, So once this is cooked up a bit, add in your black beans some salt; some pepper pepper pepper; and some cumin And really

really take in that aroma of cumin *snnnnifffffff* Yup I know that smell alright

*sniff* ahhhh What the hell is that guy doin'? Ummmmmmmmmmm Police work I'm trying to track down a criminal A criminal who doesn't realize that he sprayed evidence all over this wall here Evidence? You mean piss? Haha

Yeah Piss Evidence comes in a lot of forms Did you guys see anything suspicious around here lately? 🎶Whoa there pops we don't talk to the cops! Hey!🎶 I will straight up taze you He went that way

Great Your visual observations combined with this evidence here combined with my tracker device that shows me exactly where he is at all times means I know exactly where to go You stay out of trouble Ummmmm *sniffffff* If the beans get too dry, you can add a little bit of water I've already burnt the onions, so that's great So at the last possible second, we're gonna cook the eggs Now the tortilla is warming up over here, I like 'em just barely cooked K We're gonna take the warm tortilla, The sour cream And salsa

This is for moisture distribution purposes Egg goes on, Grated cheese goes on, That's when you want to hit it with the beans, So it all melts, Oh man, I'm putting too much stuff on here the tomato, some avocado, and I made some burrito sauce, I like to have enough sauce to eat my burrito and drink my burrito at the same time I like the type of burrito that threatens to leak all over my pants God, I love camping The smell of the forest, The wind in the trees, Could anything be better? No

Are you alright? Yeah I'm great Camping It's the best You seem like something's on your mind I think I left the stove on There's a stove at the warehouse? Or I might have left the windows open It could rain Uh huh I think I forgot to put the tarp over the trampoline If it gets dusty You know what I think? I think you're hiding something

Wh-wha–I I'm not I think you're hiding your feelings

You need some time alone? You wanna go for a walk? I don't give a care Oh Yeah I think you're right, I just need some time to think I'll see you Back here Later

Oh no Ohhhh crap Pull that back

And then Damn Ideally, you want to be able to fold I've really done it, haven't I? Just go ahead and serve Inside that can from the black beans And if you have a second one you can put it on top And tape it together And take it to work like that But that's not gonna leak over anybody's pants I don't care what kind of pants they wear

Another approach is to take a straw And then just drink your burrito And the other approach would be to make sure you wear your burrito pants When that door opens I'm gonna bust these ropes off jump up Karate kick em in the face and oh my god don't hurt me I'll do anything you want Today's your lucky day, kid Chief! Oh my god! I can't thank you enough!! No, Dennis

It's my fault I should have believed you How in the world did you find me? Good ol' fashioned police work A splash of evidence Annnnnd a tracking device A tracking device? Uh mostly just evidence You put a tracker on me? On you? No I did not put a tracker on you

It's best not to think about this too much It could get pretty uncomfortable I put it up your a- You son of a bitch How could you? How could YOU? How could I what? How could you betray the whole force? You've been double-dealing with the freeriders I'm trying to bust the freeriders

I was undercover You've been taking kickbacks Flapjacks Sabotaging our operation at every turn And now you'll be able to spend the rest of your life with your precious freeriders

In prison Chief It's time to go, Dennis

I don't think so You're under arrest Uh, that's interesting

Considering neither of you are leaving here alive John We're on the same team here You swore you'd kill me if you ever got free I'm no math expert, but- I'm a wanted man now Things have changed You killed 2 innocent eggs to make your escape

You and your friend there Douglas We do what we had to do We did what? What are they talking about, John? Nothing Are they talking about

the decoys? The decoys names were Pat and Terry Pat and Terry? John!! Y-you killed them?! I-I we were all gonna die anyway What?! I tried to tell you

I NEVER would have gone along with that! It was our only way out The fingers went off– I thought we were friends! Friends? Yeah That night, that we– I don't want to talk about it

But we– I don't want to talk to you, ever again But—- sgdlkjfhfghdkghgvbnc It was our only way out HASDHJGSDFJKSJDFHSDASDSA *screech* he he he he he he ha ha ha ha haaa *motorcycle noises* *motorcycle noises intensify* Youuuu suckkkk at coooking oh my god youuuu suckkkkkkkkk

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