Butternut Squash Guide – You Suck at Cooking (episode 49)

The skin of a squash is extremely tough, so always use your strongest knife when you cut it If you don't have a chainsaw, you can use a knife

Definitely takes some elbow grease And scoop these guts out Once you got that halved, then it becomes obvious why butternut squash is also known as nature's ladle *Slurping* We're gonna start carving out squash Whoops So you got your two pieces here What you're gonna do is take a hinge Line that up between the crack

Take your screws And just screw those into the squash Don't over-tighten them, though You might break the screw Oh [BLEEP], it's not opening

Oh, I see So, we'll just cut this off, I guess Yeah, so that works pretty great Put this in right here So now we're gonna be able to lock it And we'll just take this handle Great! And then

Oh, [BLEEP] [SIGH] Okay, just unscrew that This is what happens when you pioneer something new

You're gonna run into problems, but you do that so that the people who come after you don't have to have those issues That's what being an innovator's all about I'm kind of like the the Elon Musk of squash cases

And basically what you've created is a perfect holder for your banana –that you can just carry with you wherever you go So this is just a quick access, I guess? A lot of benefits to a squash case So we're going to take a leek heh Some olive oil, throw those leeks in, brown them a bit to add some flavor Try not to burn them like I did In your food processor or blender, throw in the squash, garlic, and some veggie stock –and the leeks

So we'll get that blending Take that gloriousness and pour it in the pan I mean, the pot

While that's heating up, gonna add some salt, and a little bit of pepper *whispered* –pepper pepper! And I'm gonna throw in a bit of curry powder, because orange on orange tastes really good Don't taste it too soon if you blend it raw like that, cause it aarrlgh Bleeaugh *splashing noise* Don't uh

think too much about what that sounds like Very simple, very yummy Squash comes from the Cucurbitaceae family which is the same family as gourds Such as the Kusarigama The Bumptolophagus The Payronieous The Antoni Gaudi The Squeegle The Hoogalabooblahblah And the Rectus Uncomftormus If you wanna bake butternut squash and you get one that just isn't buttery enough and nutty enough simply coat it in butter and then roll it in powder stone-crushed nuts and let that marinade[sic] for 7 to 8 weeks

If you have one that's perfect We're gonna chop this in half [SCRAPING NOISE] Peel it with a peeler [SPED UP SCRAPING NOISE] It's actually pretty fun

I mean, it's not roller coaster fun, but [CHOPPING NOISE] [SPED UP SCRAPING NOISE] If you don't have a peeler [CHOPPING NOISES] just cut right down like that

[FAST CHOPPING NOISES] Throw these into a pan Olive oil Salt Pepper, pepper, pepper Fresh sage leaves

whaaat? [FAST CHOPPING NOISES] Then we'll mix that all together What the hell? Then we'll take the other half Salt Squash has recently been named a superfood, and the butter helps counteract the healthy effects

Throw some in there Create a little river here Little bit of maple syrup It's probably way too sweet, but you know what? You only live however many times you get reincarnated, so Onion's on 400 [DISH SCRAPING NOISES] Ahh It's been about 30 minutes Just gonna wang-jangle this one a bit [DISH SCRAPING NOISES AND SIZZLING] Spoon this butter and maple syrup over top

Best thing you can do with these is Blurgh *Toilet flushing* Let's do a little test here Mmm sage squash is so good

Mmm! It's all so good but I think you really need to get the maple and butter in there otherwise it's pretty bland so Dice it and then douse it I'm gonna declare the sage squash the ultimate champion here

Regardless of how you do your squash, don't serve it like this That's baby food And that's condescending to anyone over the age of 18months And, you know, butternut squash might not be your thing so if you don't like it, try one of the other varieties like cutternut squash, or shutternut squash, or gutternut squash, or clutternut squash, or flutternut squash, or uddernut squash ♫ [GUITAR PLAYING] ♫ ♫ Going to town now Don't you get lost ♫ ♫ Before you leave the house be sure to wash

♫ ♫ Dressed to the nines Yeah, you looking posh ♫ ♫(And your suit, and your pants, and your shoes)♫ ♫ Little bit hungry, better eat some squash♫ ♫ Eat a steak sandwich, be sure to floss ♫ ♫ Swinging from the trees on the great peat moss ♫ ♫ Have some spaghetti with extra sauce ♫ ♫ Finish it off with a side of squash

♫ ♫ Give me a butternut uppercut♫ ♫ Cup runneth over like a speeding truck ♫ ♫ Splayed on my plate I'm gonna eat it up ♫ ♫ Mmmm, mmmm, mmm ♫

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