Cauliflower Mac and Cheese – You Suck at Cooking (episode 96)

You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck Behold Cauliflower Mac & Cheese

But it's more like "'Mac' & Cheese", because we're substituting the macaroni for cauliflower Don't @ me To make sure you don't confuse cauliflower with collie flower or colic-y flower Noobody wants to eat that Keep in mind that cauliflower and macaroni are almost the same thing

They're both light in color, They're both good for your teeth *crunch* And they both grow in the wild But most importantly, they're both part of the important food group CHEESE DELIVERY SYSTEMS Which includes crackers, broccoli And your finger *lip smacking* Daaamn that's a good finger We're gonna use one large head of fresh cauliflower Or you can use up to 12 cauliflower bricks

We're going to use the power of finger strength to break these into bite sized pieces and remove the bones unless you prefer "bone in" Mac and Cheese Then we'll colendries and pat and dry Add in three tablespoons of olive oil Some salt and pepper pepper pepper Then we're going to take a conscious step away from our wanjangling addiction And use this as an opportunity to perfect the toss ♫ The toss is a handy little piece of physics that harnesses the power of gravity ♫ ♫ To get all the olive oil into the crooks and the crannies of the cauliflower, yeehaw! ♫ You can also throw the cauliflower on spin cycle If you don't want the hassle of dismantling fresh cauliflower, you can use frozen cauliflower Also known as "ro-kcaulflower" It'll turn out more mushy but will still excel at delivering cheese sauce to the body system Remember that It has a whole different set of acoustics that aren't any worse ♫ Or better, it just sounds like rocks ♫ ♫ but cha gotta be careful when you throw it in the pot♫ ♫ But cha not gonna throw it in a pot cause we don't boil Cauliflower♫ ♫ NO ♫ And remember if you're making this for a fussy baby, the cauliflower bones can be easily be chopped into noodle shapes if you want to waste an absolute f**k ton of time Now we're gonna take a parchement paper coated pan and slide our cauliflower on randomly so it tastes unpredictable and keep in mind your ABV's Always Bake Vegetables And your EWB's Except When Boiling WVR Which should be Very Rarely LSP

Like Sometimes Potatoes Alight I'll STFU Start The Friggin Undoh On 420-fundo (425) Now remember, white tastes boring and brown tastes good, so we'll bake these until they start to brown Now let's get to work on that cheese sauce You're gonna need a cup of milk, four teaspoons of flour, five ounces (or 150 grams) of shredded medium cheddar (remember, M stands for Maximum Meltitude), two teaspoons of sriracha, and around 57 chives

I also added in a half-teaspoon of salt Now you want to chop these chives up finely Some people worry about the word "chives" having the word "hives" in it, but it also rhymes with "high fives", so let's not be negative, you pessimistic son of a- Which saucepan should you use? Doesn't really matter Alright, let's check on the cauliflower We're gonna wrassle these up and bake them a little bit browner (echoing) Be not afraid Get that cup of milk in and heat it up to medium, and whisk in that flour Now work in those chive-y particles, add in the sriracha or other hot sauce, and the salt

Now wangjangle while bringing it up to a boil, and make sure to block the view with your hand We'll remove it from the heat, and then sprinkle in and combine that cheddar Or you can keep it on the heat and watch as the cheese becomes an irredeemable glob of gloop inside a pot of steaming milk Your cheese sauce, your life By the way, when that cheese sauce cools and thickens, it makes excellent savory frosting

(windchimes) Now our cauliflower has gone through a butterfly-like transformation into something beautifully delicious, and you have a choice here You can plate the cauliflower and then drizzle, or just give it a ride down the parchment paper express and combine it in the pot Keep in mind that what you're doing when you make cauliflower mac and cheese, is tricking yourself into eating vegetables Just like the olden days, when vegetables used to be disguised as fish ♫ Cauliflower mac and cheese, ♫ ♫ more like "mac yes please" ♫ ♫ Please, can I squeeze in anymore ♫ ♫ cauliflower mac and cheeeeeeese

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