Choose Your Own Adventure Cookies – You Suck at Cooking (episode 40)

You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck This video is brought to you by Fork Can™ And Audible

com, where you can get audiobooks that you read with your ears Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time We're going to make simple peanut butter cookies, you only need three ingredients I mean, you can make them with four Umm, but, you can use as few as one ingredient if you wanted to just take a bit of peanut butter, put it in a circular shape on a plate, and let it dry out and call that a cookie

Put peanut butter on a plate and call it a cookie or Make actual cookies *click* Ok We're going to start by taking one cup of peanut butter *scoop scoop* Congratulations You're one-third done So, now we're going to take a cup of brown sugar

What's this? The hell? *paper crumpling* Looks like a treasure map Search for treasure or Continue making cookies *click* *paper crumples* You're gonna throw that in the bowl *tapping* So the only other ingredient you absolutely need is an egg Let eggs say goodbye to each other or Continue making cookies *click* See ya Bye

*crack* *crack* If your arm gets sore from this repetitive motion just know that it's natural and it's nothing to feel bad about And now you can decide if you want to add anything else into your peanut butter cookies, like *clang* chocolate chips or really I mean the sky's the limit here Form balls out of these Table spoon size No grease in the pan

No foil It's almost like the pan's perfectly clean when you're done I really don't know what I'm talking about It's really on there, you know And you can take a fork

And press them down a little bit Oh, these are not pressing down They're really super sticky *laugh* I don't know what happened What's going on? Oh, that one turned out good

Let's just pretend that one is all of these These look perfect If you have a Fork Compressotron 1™, you could use that instead Oh, see that does a f- a far better job Onion's on 350

So while that's cooking you're going to notice you have, uh, enough left over for, maybe another- *bleep bloop* Oh I got, uh, selected to go on this mission to Mars Go to Mars or Wait for cookies *click* Mission control to YSAC, initiate remote sequence Remote sequence is good Light switch check

*three switches* Switches are good Initiate radio check *noise from radio* Radio is good Cartridge entry, go Cartridge in

Initiate beep sequence Beeps initiated Enter navigation coordinates Navigation locked Engage hyperdrive

*hyperdrive engaging* Mission control, we have a major problem I just realized I left the cookies in the onion Copy that YSAC, what the f*** are you talking about? Continue to Mars or Turn off onion *click and engine powering down* *sad music playing* Ahh, well that's a bummer But, least I got some cookies They're probably better with, um any other ingredient that you could possibly put in a cookie

Basically, just look up a real recipe, I guess, and follow that You could give these out and try to buy people's friendship with them, or you could hoard them all for yourself Buy friendship with cookies or Hoard cookies *click* And now a word from our sponsor This video is sponsored by Audiblecom, the easiest way to read a book with your ears while cooking a meal In my experience it's far easier than the traditional method which is a bit cumbersome and tricky to master and ruins your books, and everyone's day

I really recommend pirate hunters by, hmm, Robert Kurson I can take it with me, go searching for pirate treasure on my own, while listening to a book about it Oh! Found something! Pretty sure that's from a pirate ship And if you don't like pirates they've got 250,000 other audio books so, uh, whoa really sinking here Audible

com/ysac First month is free, and you get to keep a free book, even if you don't like it Or you could order my Kafka-Edgar style novel I'm hand typing each copy, so there's a bit of a backlog, but I should be able to crank them out a bit faster once I learn how to type, so Order novel or Listen to pirate song *click* I'd like to be a pirate I really think I'd like to try it I know I just can't deny it Except for being shot at all the time and losing a leg Then I got to spend my whole day carving a peg And I'm getting all antsy because I'm stuck on a boat And I don't know how to swim and I probably can't float and I have to always wear the same pair of wet shoes and I'm stuck in a dark room that's full of unclean dudes and the ship makes me sick because it's rocky and swervey and at least a couple times a year I come down with scurvy getting bored of the food and I end up marooned and I never really learned to navigate by the moon and I'm constantly prone to unpredictable weather and my back is sore from carrying all this heavy treasure and I don't really like being out in the sun and I never ever ever want to hurt anyone but I'd like to be a pirate Yeah! Don't really mean to romanticize it No! They lived in a better climate Yeah! I want to be a swash- -buckling pirate Maybe!

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