Corn on the Cob – You Suck at Cooking (episode 45)

It's corn season and this is around the time that ears make their way up field to spawn in the forest Oh! You gotta catch 'em quick before, uh

Oh! Before they flop away to get to the forest You won't have a chance [grunts] to grab 'em [grunts again] Whoa

[intro music] This video is brought to you by HelloFresh, the meal delivery service that is neato "Shucking" – it's a fancy word for peeling, and how you shuck is a personal choice The traditional method is to grab the husk and shuck downward Repeat this motion until the cob is husk-free You could also up-shuck it

These methods are hard work and you end up shucking yourself silly, so consider trying the golf shuck [sound of golf swing] Corn! Or you can try playing shuck-minton Or you could use the comprehensive spinning wheel dual-momentum shuck system Or you can bucket shuck it [splish] You could throw it against a rock

[snaps] Whoops, don't throw it against a rock Or if you're quick enough, you could do the Falcon Shuck [sound of Falcon Punch] [grunts with effort] [whoosh] The Shuckatron 6™ is new technology that's based on particle theory and magic You just slide it through there and just make sure to wash the particles off of your corn after, 'cuz particles aren't good for you And if you don't like corn on the cob, you can take a hammer and get [bash] corn off the cob

Or you can buy this corn I've been developing with Monsanto It's, uh, "cob-less corn" and the way we make it is through genetic engineering It's perfectly healthy and safe we're pretty sure [shucking sounds] Or you can try this corn sausage we've been making It looks and tastes like real turkey sausage

And the way we make that is by having a turkey [bleep] a cob of corn To cook the corn, a lot of people think you just fill a pot with water, boil the water, throw in the corn, add some salt, let it cook for a few minutes, and then it's done, and those people are correct Applying butter to your corn is also a personal decision Rookies will use a knife which is a sloppy way to go about it And it leaves your corn tasting like butter and metal

This is the classic way, you just gently roll your cob in the butter until it's coated The more advanced way is to take a slab of butter and carve a corn hole into the side Slide the cob into the corn hole and twist it while moving it in and out until your cob is completely coated with butter If your corn hole isn't big enough, gently twist it with perseverance until it slides through easily You could also stick butter onto some tongs, tape those to a broom handle and butter your corn from a distance

This is a great technique if you suffer from a strong fear of corn Buttered corn can be slippery, so be sure to attach a handle, like this 271a Philip Screwdriver I just made up the 271a part

But yeah, that's corn on the cob, and it's more delicious than corn on the log or corn in the bog, or corn on the saw, or corn on the dog, or corn in the fog, or corn on the job, or corn in the clog, or corn on Bob, or corn on the slob, which the same thing Get your shit together Bob Seriously And it's obviously best eaten as on corn on the knob And if you're sick of corn, consider trying HelloFresh

These meals come out of this box weekly You have to put 'em together with these fresh ingredients, which is not much more complicated than shucking These recipes take around 30 minutes, which is only 19 more than boiling corn, and look what you end up with, even Bob could do this [chewing sounds] You don't have to risk getting lost in a corn field, which is dangerous I made this stuff and my friends like me more after, which boosted my self esteem even though I overcooked the steak

For $40 off your first week of deliveries, go to hellofreshcom and enter code YSAC when you subscribe And now listen to my song about what corn dreams of [song with acoustic guitar] ♪ Another day living in a row ♪ ♪ moving toward the sky, painfully slow ♪ ♪ The sun comes up and the sun goes down

♪ ♪ Nothing ever changes this close to the ground ♪ ♪ Seems more exciting to be one of the trees ♪ ♪ The best thing that happens is a mild breeze ♪ ♪ She was born in a field but she don' known why ♪ ♪ because at night she dreams of the sky ♪ [electric guitar joins] ♪ 'Cuz she wants to be a fighter jet on a mission of reconnaissance

♪ ♪ Mach 5, gathering intelligence ♪ ♪ Long tide, skim the surface, staying dry ♪ ♪ Power 'cross the waves without ever getting wet ♪ [fwoop] ♪ Backfire, cruising supersonic speed ♪ ♪ Arms up, hands flapping in the breeze

♪ ♪ Far from the dirt with no regrets ♪ ♪ [jet whoosh] She wants to be a fighter jet ♪ [jet whooshing away] ♪♪

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