Energy Balls – You Suck at Cooking (episode 72)

Energy Balls: Energy Balls: do they really contain energy? Or is it just a myth created by the Food Conglomerates, to sell you balls that you don't even need, to stuff in a face that you don't even want Because we're making energy balls, Because we're making energy balls, we're only going to use ingredients that have energy in them

So only things composed of matter So we're going to take a cup of oats, a half cup of peanut butter, and then a third cup of some sticky stuff Honey, Honey, maple syrup, Honey, maple syrup, wood glue, Honey, maple syrup, wood glue, molasses Honey, maple syrup, wood glue, molasses, gossip; Honey, maple syrup, wood glue, molasses, gossip; whatever Then just add anything that contains energy A can of gas, A can of gas, batteries, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, a rusty barbecue, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, a rusty barbecue, electricity, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, a rusty barbecue, electricity, a young dog, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, a rusty barbecue, electricity, a young dog, a vacuum cleaner, A can of gas, batteries, a lighter, a rusty barbecue, electricity, a young dog, a vacuum cleaner, the Sun; Whatever

I'm gonna go with a half cup of coconut, I'm gonna go with a half cup of coconut, a handful of almonds, I'm gonna go with a half cup of coconut, a handful of almonds, and some chia seeds Now these things won't power your Zune or get your Lambo to the club, but they will temporarily charge your meat suit Oh, I almost forgot: Oh, I almost forgot: a teaspoon of vanilla ak

a The Ketchup of Baking If it's too dry and it won't mix, If it's too dry and it won't mix, just add a bit more peanut butter If it's too dry and it won't mix, just add a bit more peanut butter or other sticky stuff And then when you're wangjangling this, And then when you're wangjangling this, you find out why they're really called Energy Balls Which is because to get this stuff together, it takes around 17 gigatrons of Wrist Thrust Once it's mixed, you're gonna want to put this inside the fridge, or not inside the fridge, for about an hour so the oats can soak up the wet stuff

[TWANG] Once that's done, you can start rolling it into balls And so we can technically call it "cooking", we'll throw the un-do on a couple hun-do and wave it in there for two or three parsecs Keep in mind that balls are not the only shape that can store energy You can have an Energy Pyramid, or the most powerful shape in the universe: or the most powerful shape in the universe: the Energy Donut, Energy Parallel-Lines, an Energy Bracelet, or an Energy Pickle Let's be serious though Let's be serious though this is really just an excuse to make something that tastes like a candy bar Let's be serious though this is just an excuse to make something that tastes like a candy bar while pretending it's healthy, but that's cool! I don't judge

I don't judge myself But more importantly, But more importantly, is this an Energy Ball? Or is it just an Energy Sphere? I say it's a sphere

If this was a ball, If this was a ball, then when I throw it, If this was a ball, and then I throw it, then it- okay maybe it's a ball If you're the kind of person who already has too much energy, you might want to consider making Lethargy Squares, or Calming Circles, or the Energy Balls' greatest enemy: The Lazy-Fuck Cube

You always want to test to make sure that the balls are full of energy, and there's a number of ways you can do this [light turns on] Yep, that's got energy [fire turns on] Yep, that's got energy [car turns on] That doesn't make sense, That doesn't make sense, but that's got energy [candle turns on] Yep

Definitely got energy [sea turns on] Yep, that's got energy But the real test is to see if it gives you energy when you eat it I can eat this one and see if I can run a hundred meters I can eat this one and see if I can run a hundred meters faster than my personal best of 64 seconds

Feeling kinda fine, I'm just gonna go run over towards that dog there Heh That has energy ♪ Balls! ♪ ♪ Of Energy! ♪ ♪ Are a big! ♪ ♪ Responsibility! ♪ ♪ When you eat one ♪ When you eat one there's a faint possibility that you'll blow up! ♪ ♪ So tread carefully! ♪ ♪ Energy! ♪ ♪ Balls! ♪ ♪ They'll give you more power, ♪ They'll give you more power than ethanol! ♪ ♪ 'Cause, you'll be sprinting ♪ 'Cause, you'll be sprinting like a hyped-up chicken ♪ 'Cause, you'll be sprinting like a hyped-up chicken on a seeding great bender(?) till you hit a wall! ♪ ♪ Energy Balls! ♪ ♪ You'll never stall! ♪ ♪ Baby, they'll lower your cholesterol! ♪ ♪ Balls of energy, eat the electricity, utter simplicity, you will eat all! ♪ ♪ Energy Ball, where you goin'? ♪ ♪ Whatchu think about when you're rollin'? ♪ fin captions done and timed by the teal seal please rectify any mistakes as a reply to my comment or an edit to these captions hope you enjoyed!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.