Guacamole – You Suck at Cooking (episode 1)

Today we're making GUACAMOLE! For every avocadoyou got one green onion

one wedge of limeand around 6 hot banana pepper rings They come in a jar They taste fuckin' delicious Salt and pepper

That's it Nothing else No garlic, NO BULLSHIT! I'm using 3 avocados That's good for two That's good for 3 You can always add more Choppity fuckin' chop Use a big knife, not a small one

Throw this shit in the bowl That's not very efficient Take 3 of these motherfuckers Cut the end off Slice it down the middle

Slice Slice Slice And go nice and fine Chopping was invented in the forties

Before that people just smashed shit against the wall Throw this shit in the bowl This is taking too fucking long Put that away Pick it up

Throw it in, wash your fucking hands God, don't be gross! All right! Take your smaller knifecut your avocados in half Boom! Boom Boom! Get the pits out like this

But don't cut your hand Then they're hard to get off You have to bang 'em ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) against something Fuck! Great Now, here's a trick If you wanna just scoop this shit out

then turn it into a purée It's gross like that DON'T cut your fucking fingers! Then, y'know, you can take a spoon

just scoop that shit out It'll mash automatically a bit, when you're mixing it This is science here! Ohmygawd! If you don't like avocado, you're a fuckin' TOOL Get that shit in there One more

Don't fuckin' hide! From me! Take your limeand put in 3 of this Why? Math, that's why! Three Fuck it! Here Let me show you some math, k? You put 1 avocado, you put 1 and 1or

doesn't matter Lime Lime preserves it, right? Put in enough lime so this will keep over night and won't turn brown You should probably practice your grip strength at the gym To

give afuck! Got a bag of salt here

use whatever salt you want, I'm gonna put inhmhI just kinda visualize how many sprinkles I wantper cubic centimetertype deal Pepper, pepper, pepper If you don't like pepper, you're a fuckin' tool Fork! Let's mix this together! You can mash it a bit, but you want it to a be a little chunky

Alternativelyif it's too chunkyyou can kinda grab your knife again andjust chop it up a bit more Now I swear to fucking Godyou bring this to a partythis holiday season

or any other time of this seasonor any other seasonor any other fuckin' planetpeople's crotches will explode It's so good! OH MY GAAAAAWD! ♪♫You suck at cooking oh my god♪♫ ♪♫you suck♪♫ ♫♪you suck♫♪ ♪♫you suck♪♫ ♫♪you suck♫♪ ♪♫you suck♪♫ ♪♫oh my god♪♫ ♪♫you suck♪♫

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