NACHO CRIMES – You Suck at Cooking (episode 11)

🎶 You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck 🎶 The first and most pervasive nacho crime looks like this A bunch of chips left over with no toppings

NO The proportion of ingredients is based on one simple formula Tortilla chips times Salsa over beans and cheese divided by Pi Squared hypotenuse Isosceles Pythagoras protractor Minus four If you can't follow this simple formula, get the hell out of the kitchen

The second most pervasive Nacho Crime looks like this Small plastic containers holding sour cream and salsa on the side of the nachos NO The distribution of salsa and sour cream is based on the simple formula; don't put that shit in plastic containers in the corner, dummy (minus 4) It looks like a perfectly delicious plate of nachos Nice proportions, good layering, excellent ingredients

But what's this? A big chunk of Steel in the middle of the plate Restaurants often do this to make the nachos heavier, and therefore feel more expensive, and higher quality NO We want this area full of nachos we can eat, not steel that we're just mad at Another fine-looking nacho platter, but it's served with a tape recorder Let's press play

"You little pot licker" It's a recording of my dad berating me NO

This is a classic trick to make you feel bad about yourself so that you'll spend more money to boost your self-esteem Don't fall for it This nacho crime might slip past you if you're not paying attention It looks like a delicious plate of nachos, but dig a little deeper and you find that your beloved nachos are actually full of cheap filler I ordered a high-quality corn product, not cheap sirloin steak

NO But let me have a bite just to check Holy shit That's good

This next nacho crime is a rare, but important one You've been served an obnoxious tomato that won't shut up "I'm not saying I'm a 10, like, probably," "probably, like, not a 10" "But I mean, if you want to compare a matter, like, compare," "but if you want to compare to the other tomatoes, like, I'm definitely," "Above-average looking, maybe a 10," "like I'm pretty good looking as far as a tomato goes" "And I-" "AEUUhhhguh" "Yeah, oh Yeah, that hurt, yeah" If you, or a loved one, witness a nacho crime, don't just sit there Report it Together, we can stop nacho crimes 🎶You suck at cooking🎶 🎶oh my god, you suck🎶 🎶You suck at cooking🎶 🎶Oh my god🎶 🎶You suck

🎶 🎶So🎶 🎶Much🎶 🎶At cooking🎶 🎶You suck🎶 🎶So🎶 Much *sigh*

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.