You Suck at Christmas – You Suck at Cooking (episode 28)

[Jingle bells playing] Mashing potatoes on an old Norse sloping tray It's a little holiday DIY project You're just gonna take a cantaloupe, cut some eye holes and a nose hole

Cut a mouth hole [sips water] Put some glue around that mouth, take some cotton aaand You want to get a classic Christmasy hat or if you don't have one a red bag will do, and then you have a a santaloupe

Or a Sant-o-Lantern And it perfectly bridges the gap between, uh, Christmas and Halloween, or Hallowistmas, as it's known Super handsome Now, the fruitcake is a christmas tradition that gets a really bad rap, a lot of people say it's gross – especially kids But, if you revisit this as an adult, I can almost guarantee you that you'll agree that the combination of textures and flavours, and density

can hold down almost any garbage can, even under windy conditions (Singing to the tune of jingle bells) Pringle shells, pringle shells, pringle shells and cheese (Bites into pringle, chewing noises) Mm-hmm

Mm-mm Nope A nativity scene, like this one, helps us remember the miracle of how white people traveled to the Middle East 2,000 years ago The Christmas tree is a lovely tradition of selecting one lucky tree to come inside and enjoy the warmth all winter, and then it dies and- you can use the traditional bulbs and lights, which are beautiful, or you can add your own touches I've uh, put a beautiful piece of scotch tape, I've also added a lovely-looking piece of whole wheat bread, I added a touch of sparkle with a crushed tin can and a dollop of warmth with a piping hot bowl of corn chowder

And a cool trend that's been happening lately is if you take your leftovers from the kitchen and put them directly in the tree, by January 2nd the whole tree will break down into a nice little pile of compost and you can just rub that directly into your floors, instead of hauling your tree to the road like a jackass, so that's really nice [To the tune of Deck the Halls] Check the dolls for flowered caullieee Om nom nom nom, nom nom nom nomm [Crunching noises] We're going to whip up a quick batch of easy Christmas cookies

You're going to need some wax paper, flour, eggs, sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, butter, sour cream, food coloring, and what you're going to do is You ask my mom to bake the cookies for you, then you grab your Dremel tool, and you just There's a snowman You just get a tighter bit going here And your Christmas tree Here, we have, obviously, a reindeer That's the head, um, probably wanna Probably have to glue a horn on [Chuckles] to him and uh [laughs again] [Giggling] That's pretty much Christmas for

for you [more intense laughter] [more intense laughter] [Surpressing laughter] Let's make a snowflake, I guess [Uncontrollable, hysterical laughter] [To the tune of deck the halls] You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck, oh my god you-u suck, you suck at cooking, yeah you to-ta-ta-ta-ta-to-tally suck [Sounds of grating] [Sigh] This might take a while

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